That's what I thought I'd do, too. Once I found out we didn't have to go back if we didn't want to... I figured I could do anything I wanted and it would be okay. And it is, mostly. But...
[But then the rest of you are out here doing your thing and it makes her feel like she's burning, burning in a way that the rest of them are trying not to. And if she is, what does it say about her that she doesn't want to stop it, that she doesn't have the same fear they do about what happens if the people close to her also burn?]
It's hard, seeing how many people here are too afraid to be honest and go after what they want. I made that mistake. I was too afraid to talk to Ai about things before our worlds were restored, and it ended in me wasting two years of my life married to a monster while he strung me along and used me for his own schemes. I'm not going to make that mistake again, but watching everybody here...
[It hurts. It fucking hurts, seeing those chances at happiness and how they're denied based on fear. And then that hurt becomes anger, because she's so tired of hurting. Wave turns her head beneath his cheek, planting her face into his sleeve.]
I hate it. It's just as selfish as if you go after it, only in a different way.
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That's what I thought I'd do, too. Once I found out we didn't have to go back if we didn't want to... I figured I could do anything I wanted and it would be okay. And it is, mostly. But...
[But then the rest of you are out here doing your thing and it makes her feel like she's burning, burning in a way that the rest of them are trying not to. And if she is, what does it say about her that she doesn't want to stop it, that she doesn't have the same fear they do about what happens if the people close to her also burn?]
It's hard, seeing how many people here are too afraid to be honest and go after what they want. I made that mistake. I was too afraid to talk to Ai about things before our worlds were restored, and it ended in me wasting two years of my life married to a monster while he strung me along and used me for his own schemes. I'm not going to make that mistake again, but watching everybody here...
[It hurts. It fucking hurts, seeing those chances at happiness and how they're denied based on fear. And then that hurt becomes anger, because she's so tired of hurting. Wave turns her head beneath his cheek, planting her face into his sleeve.]
I hate it. It's just as selfish as if you go after it, only in a different way.